It seems perhaps an odd time to be writing about this but as feelings and emotions go, we generally only have so much control over where our minds wander. It's no surprise, given the sunshine and great weather that my mind has drifted to dogs. They're everywhere. Now that the temperatures have risen and the sun is shining everyone has puppy fever. You know what I'm talking about... those times that you find yourself catching private moments with them when their owners aren't looking - talking in baby talking, ruffling their ears. You secretly wish you had a dog yourself, but you settle for living vicariously through those around you. 


But why wouldn't you want a dog? They are quite possibly the greatest animals, ever. Period. 


I not-so-secretly wish for one. I find myself day-dreaming about having a dog and then suddenly snapping back to the reality that I can't even keep a cactus alive, let alone a living breathing animal. 


I used to get my pet dosage when I went home for vacations and holidays. My family had a dog, Noel, for 16 years. He was remarkable. Everything I could ask for in a dog. He was a great listener, and he was a wonderful pillow to rest my head when the tears came as a result of the latest boy who crushed my heart. He was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Every time I see a border collie I think of him. I long for him. In my 13 years of school at home, Noel walked faithfully down the lane with me nearly every one of those days. He'd wait patiently until we boarded the school bus, watch it pull away, then saunter back down the lane to hang out with Mom for the day. He wrestled snakes, perused the bush at the back of the field, basked in sunshine. He loved the country - he was made for it. In the winter he'd make himself a little nook in the snowbank by the front door and curl up into the tiniest ball. 


He was beautiful. And now he's gone. 


He's been gone since the fall and every now and again I think of that day and I feel a little tug at my heart and a pit in my stomach. It feels a little hard to breath but then I remember the love and how love is hard, and love is painful but in the end love carries us all through. 


And I love him very much.

Beans, Beans they're good for your heart....

The more you eat..... haha, well you know the rest.

Beans - they are my passion these days. While I do love them fresh, I also adore them canned. Quick, easy. Take black beans for instance - fry up some onions, some garlic, a bit of spinach, a yam or two, salt, pepper, black beans et voila! Instant success. 

While I could talk all day about the wonderful little mystery meals my roommate and I cook up each day, what I really want to impart with you is where to get the goods. It's all about price here. Until recently, I didn't think it possible to find canned beans for less than a dollar, HOWEVER, The Spice House in Kensington Market sells their beans for .89 cents - HOLY POOP! Best deal. Ever. 

So my friends, the moral of the story is, don't buy overpriced beans....that way you can enjoy more beans and you know what that means..... ;)

Baby, it's been a while...

It's a dreary, grey Sunday morning in Toronto. When I peak out the window I see the occasional snowflake wander by, but that's okay. While it may be dreary in appearance, it is most certainly not dreary in my heart. It's the perfect day for an early morning walk in the crisp, cool air.


I absolutely loved the warm sunshine we were blessed with these last two weeks, but this is a welcome change for the time being. Instead of making me think of all the other things I wish I was doing, it's the kind of day that relaxes my brain and refreshes my mind in all the chaos of school and music and the big band chart that I'm procrastinating.....


Procrastinating - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But I don't call this procrastinating. This is taking care of business which is taking care of my mind and heart and taking a little timeout to let the transition of the last section of the tune I'm writing settle a bit in my brain. A quick break before I finish what I started.


So I sit here in a beat up old, comfy chair, in a comfy little cafe sipping my Chai Latte in its little handmade cozy. The arms are worm and the seat sinks a little on one side but that's what makes it so endearing. The Chai Latte reminds me of Miss Yu and leaves me looking forward to this Wednesday. Our Wednesdays that keep my weeks moving and heart singing.


Here's to a fresh week and getting back on this writing wagon. 


It's been a while...
xo

My cheeks hurt. 

They hurt. The muscles surrounding my mouth, chin and cheeks are physically ailing me. It's not because I got my wisdom teeth out, or I got socked a good one in the jaw, or because I'm stressed out - it's because I'm happy. I'm so happy that for the last month, I've laughed so much and smiled so hard that my face hurts. 

It hurts soooo good. Life is good.

Happy

It's time make a happiness tally - these are the things that complete me these days:

-listening to music I love

-Laughing a lot, REALLY hard

-singing (but mostly shouting) Disney songs

-cooking delicious, nutricious food

-running my heart out

-reuniting with friends who've been far away

-early morning girl chats over warm bevys

-painting my nails red

-dancing really, really hard, and reeeeeeeeeeeally crazy

-strange and unusual gifts (ie: mushrooms)

-MOST of all, the really special, wonderful people I can call my friends :)

I feel like a very lucky girl.

But Not For Me

"They're singing songs of love, but not for me..."

I sing this lyric to myself occasionally, but I'm starting to realize it's not true.

In some strange way, I think there is always a song of love each of us playing at all times.... we just don't always hear it.You just gotta keep your ears open.

Red

There is something about wearing red that is just so sexy. Whether it's a shirt, a dress, a hat, shoes or lipstick. Red is dynamic and mysterious. In my case I'm wearing red on my nails. I painted them last night and they make me feel great... :)

on late nights....

So it's late. I know that this may not be the best time to post (after 3 beers and some good laughs) and maybe it isn't....or maybe it is? Sometimes alcoholic beverages can make us more honest. They can help us to see clearly the things that seem so complicated when the lights are bright and our minds are concerned with pleasing others and the social norms.

So here it is. The story of a girl.

Sarah. Sometimes she missed her prince, Daniel, but most of the time she's okay. He swooped in, saved her when she was tumbling down the hill and picked her up and held her. He showered her in sunlight and dried all the rain. He brought her yellow tulips and wrote her notes of love. He held her as she cried, and laughed along with her when she laughed. However, today she missed him and it is all because of the reminder. A little birdy that placed his name so half-hazardly in her ear. "Daniel". As if to remind her of her already regrettable failures. The birdy tugged at her regret and brought her to her knees.

"Daniel."

Sarah paused.

Though time had passed and many wounds had healed she paused at the name, unsure of what to say.

"I don't have anything bad to say about him - he was a good guy. That's all."

And that's all she said. She left it at that. And though her heart hurt for a moment for all the moments they had spent together, she trusted that it would go away. Eventually the feeling would be lost and the moment would be hers again and all would be well.

And it was. But Sarah still remembers. She will always remember.