My cheeks hurt. 

They hurt. The muscles surrounding my mouth, chin and cheeks are physically ailing me. It's not because I got my wisdom teeth out, or I got socked a good one in the jaw, or because I'm stressed out - it's because I'm happy. I'm so happy that for the last month, I've laughed so much and smiled so hard that my face hurts. 

It hurts soooo good. Life is good.

Happy

It's time make a happiness tally - these are the things that complete me these days:

-listening to music I love

-Laughing a lot, REALLY hard

-singing (but mostly shouting) Disney songs

-cooking delicious, nutricious food

-running my heart out

-reuniting with friends who've been far away

-early morning girl chats over warm bevys

-painting my nails red

-dancing really, really hard, and reeeeeeeeeeeally crazy

-strange and unusual gifts (ie: mushrooms)

-MOST of all, the really special, wonderful people I can call my friends :)

I feel like a very lucky girl.

But Not For Me

"They're singing songs of love, but not for me..."

I sing this lyric to myself occasionally, but I'm starting to realize it's not true.

In some strange way, I think there is always a song of love each of us playing at all times.... we just don't always hear it.You just gotta keep your ears open.

Red

There is something about wearing red that is just so sexy. Whether it's a shirt, a dress, a hat, shoes or lipstick. Red is dynamic and mysterious. In my case I'm wearing red on my nails. I painted them last night and they make me feel great... :)

on late nights....

So it's late. I know that this may not be the best time to post (after 3 beers and some good laughs) and maybe it isn't....or maybe it is? Sometimes alcoholic beverages can make us more honest. They can help us to see clearly the things that seem so complicated when the lights are bright and our minds are concerned with pleasing others and the social norms.

So here it is. The story of a girl.

Sarah. Sometimes she missed her prince, Daniel, but most of the time she's okay. He swooped in, saved her when she was tumbling down the hill and picked her up and held her. He showered her in sunlight and dried all the rain. He brought her yellow tulips and wrote her notes of love. He held her as she cried, and laughed along with her when she laughed. However, today she missed him and it is all because of the reminder. A little birdy that placed his name so half-hazardly in her ear. "Daniel". As if to remind her of her already regrettable failures. The birdy tugged at her regret and brought her to her knees.

"Daniel."

Sarah paused.

Though time had passed and many wounds had healed she paused at the name, unsure of what to say.

"I don't have anything bad to say about him - he was a good guy. That's all."

And that's all she said. She left it at that. And though her heart hurt for a moment for all the moments they had spent together, she trusted that it would go away. Eventually the feeling would be lost and the moment would be hers again and all would be well.

And it was. But Sarah still remembers. She will always remember.

looking back...and reflecting on today.

The year is coming to an end. 

It feels like just yesterday that it was New Years Eve and we were bringing in 2009. I was embarking on a new relationship, I had just begun singing again after my hiatus in the fall and things were looking up. I was happy, blissful and totally engaged in new romance. It makes me a little sad to look back. My heart aches a bit for what could have been, what alternate state of life I may be living had I of done certain things differently. I look back at everything I did, things that I said, my view myself and wonder if I could've done better. However all actions lead to another reaction and here I am - stronger and wiser. Most all, more whole. 

Christmas this year was a challenge. Our special day was perfect except for one crucial piece was missing - our Noel. It was our first Christmas in 16 years without our dog, Noel who passed away on November 13th. It something not one of us mentioned on Christmas day, but I'm certain we all noticed. As we sat around the Christmas tree on Christmas morning all I could think about was how we were all warm inside and Noel was alone outside, buried beneath the maple tree. So my brother Steve and I went outside after everyone had gone their separate ways and took a moment to wish our beloved Noel a Merry Christmas, seeing as Christmas was always his special day. It was at Christmas 16 years ago that Noel, a stray in our neighborhood, decided to make our home, his home. He chose us to be his family - and so we were. 

I miss my Christmas Noel.

Home for the Holidays

I'm sitting at home. Not home, as in Toronto in my apartment home, but my family's home in rural southwestern Ontario where we only recently acquired a street number address, and were otherwise identified through Canada Post as "Rural Route 5".

I just finished washing the dishes after a lovely dinner with my parents and little (big) brother Steve (he towers over me at 6'4" I believe, and I swear it happened overnight). It's been a wonderful break so far - lots of sleep, eating well and exercise (I got a month pass to the gym which is only TWENTY DOLLARS for students!!!). Most of all, I've had a chance to relax and enjoy some time off. Breathe in the fresh air and enjoy the countryside.

Coming home brings me back to my roots and pulls me back down to Earth. It's feel wonderful.

Thus begins my holiday....yaaaaaaaaaaaay!